Don't Say It
by SparrowBones
Summary: Set after 2x21 - "All Access". We all know Stella fled, but what if Mac had been there? He's always been there for her, and this shouldn't be an exception.


**This is an alternate ending for "All Access (2x21)" involving our favorite NYPD detective, Mac Taylor. He was always going to be there for Stella, of course.**

* * *

"I'm a big girl. If it's all right with you, I'd prefer to go home."

That's what she'd said to Mac. A brave utterance she'd managed to breathe with grit in that moment when she was still okay. That was before she'd stepped over the threshold to her home.

Home? Frankie had stolen that. Not only had he stripped away her dignity, he'd left her no place she felt safe – her apartment was a sanctuary no longer, not with the blood saturating the fibers of her cream carpet in such a vulgar manner. Not with his statue's unseeing eyes boring holes into the back of her head no matter where she stood.

She couldn't stay here. The tears started falling hot and heavy – ungrounded fear, smoldering anger. But she had nowhere else to go. When she closed her eyes in the hope of blocking it all out, she could only see his face. His eyes had always been electric, but she'd seen the mania behind them this time… and the light behind them doused a second after she'd pulled the trigger.

Stella didn't even hear her door open through her panicked sobs.

Mac had heard her crying with one hand on the doorknob of the abused door, knowing he'd been wrong to leave her on a night like this. He gave a pained sigh. Poor Stella.

His best friend had always been so strong, and he took it as a blow himself to see her so beaten down. It had been a losing day; Mac knew how she had to be feeling – there was no way to come out triumphant over something like this. If only he had been there to ease that gun out of her hands… to put Frankie in cuffs himself.

He hoped Stella knew that no blame had been placed. He knew her well; there had to be a part of her that bore answerability to Frankie's death. After all, she was a kind soul; a human one. And Frankie – he was not. That, above all things, was what he came to tell her.

"Stella?" Mac called.

Stella jumped, but upon realizing who it was, her fear was tided over by an all-encompassing calm. "Mac – why are you…"

"I just thought I should be here. You okay?" Mac asked. He cursed himself for asking that a second later; not because the question was so blatantly redundant, though – because he knew she would hate it.

"Yeah, I am." Stella muttered, surreptitiously wiping away her tears. But before she could finish doing so, another couple droplets splattered the floor in front of her. She turned away, ashamed.

"Oh, Stella…" Mac muttered, reaching out. But Stella cringed away. She wouldn't stand for it; not if it was from pity. Mac didn't intend it as such, however – all he wanted was to comfort a hurting friend because he loved her so. He reached out again; meeting Stella's regal gaze, he enfolded her tightly in his arms. A few timeless moments later, he felt her soften, the tension unknotting from the muscles of her back.

Stella let the tears fall free. "I've been so stupid, Mac. How could I have… I should've noticed when something was off, but he was just so… charming. It's all my –"

"Shh." Mac hushed Stella before she could finish her sentence. "Don't say it. Because that isn't true, and you should know it. Don't beat yourself up for it, Stel – it's not doing you any favors. Look at you –" Mac traced a gentle finger along the cut on Stella's cheek. "You've been beaten up badly enough already."

"As if I need reminding," Stella said, disgruntled. But inside, she felt those thoughts ease; the thoughts that had been hounding her, telling her she was weak, that she'd just let it happen… that she was a murderer.

"You're not," Mac assured, as if reading her mind. "Whatever Frankie told you were, you're not."

And Mac was right, as always – Stella's thoughts were voiced by Frankie, and she'd surely have nightmares for months to come.

But now she had Mac to help her fight him off, and it didn't matter that he wasn't there the first time.

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**Yeah, this was a bit weird and choppy. But I hope you liked it. :)**

**For more from where this came from, check out the-fanfiction-stop on Tumblr!**


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